Disclaimer: This is yet another personal and detailed post about birthing children.
As you may or may not recall, dear reader who doesn't really exist, Claire was born six days after her due date. Since this was my second baby, I assumed that little Ethan wouldn't be that late. I actually hoped that he would come on his actual due date- October 2nd- since that was my Mom's birthday. But it never even occurred to me that he would arrive early. We just barely fit in family belly pictures- and I thought I was taking them a bit early!
August and September were busy months. We had Jason's birthday party and Claire's birthday party. I had Activity Days to plan, new girls turning 8 that I needed to visit, I was covering for a primary teacher (who just had a baby-ha!) and we had our annual Food Drive. I kept on looking at my schedule and thinking, "Okay, on September 22nd, I will be done with all of these events, and then I will have two weeks to relax and finish getting ready for this baby to come."
On Tuesday, September 16, I went to a massage school where they were looking for pregnant women to "practice" on for free. (How could I turn down an offer like that?) It was very nice, and Ethan moved around a lot during the massage. Immediately afterwards, I went shopping with my sister-in-law. I found a pair of maternity pants that (miracle of ironies) actually fit me! I knew that I would only be pregnant for a few more weeks (which ended up being only a few more days) but I bought them anyway, because I really was desperate for clothes to wear and I plan on getting pregnant again someday. Anyway, while we were out, I started having Braxton Hicks contractions...like a lot of them. They didn't hurt, but they were coming pretty regularly, and it started to stress me out. I kind of wonder if the massage set them off, because the one really did seem to flow in to the other. They slowed down after a while, though. The next day I had a doctor's appointment, and I told her about the contractions. She offered to strip my membranes, but I quickly declined (I still had an ADG event, a girl to visit, the food drive, and a primary lesson- before I could even start getting ready for the baby to come!) But I started to think more about having that baby. I wondered if he needed to come early. I was still having contractions, although they weren't coming as regularly. The next day I had my ADG event, which was the last event on my list that I really couldn't delegate to someone else if I had to. I made it through that, and then I bought a pack of newborn diapers and a pack of size 1 diapers, and I sat down and had a little talk with Ethan. I told him that he was welcome to stay "inside" for up to four more weeks. I wouldn't kick him out before he was ready. But if he wanted to come early, I would make it work.
On Saturday the 20th, I woke up and I did not feel good. We were collecting food for the food drive in the morning. Jason let me sit in the car for most of it, but I did walk back and forth as much as I could, waddling a bit as I helped collect the food along our route. (FUNNY FACT: Two years ago during the food drive, I walked several miles delivering flyers, and the next day, I went in to labour with Claire. Last year, for reasons that I can no longer remember, we decided to move in to our home the same week as the food drive. This year, I went in to labour with Ethan as I was collecting food for the drive. I am really hoping that next year will be a little less eventful.) Jason's Mom met us at our house afterwards so that Jason could take our food and hers to the church. Jason invited her to stay for lunch, since we were all planning on driving out to Chilliwack together to go for a short hike with Jason's brother. At this point, I told them that I should probably stay home. The aches and pains had started to concentrate themselves in to short painful bursts that were coming at regular intervals. Jason dropped off the food and we made and ate lunch, all while things continued to progress. Jason decided that maybe he shouldn't drive out to Chilliwack, and I agreed. I started to pack for the hospital (because I hadn't done that yet!) It took a long time, because things were starting to get a little foggy. Sometime around then, my Mom called to check on me. (I found out later that Jason called my Mom and told her that she should call me. I thought that she was inspired, but it turns out that my husband was.) As I described how I was feeling to her, we both decided that I really was in labour (I had been entertaining the idea all day that this was false labour that would go away because I just couldn't believe that I would be the type of person to go in to labour two weeks early.) She was about to go work her shift at the temple. After talking to me, she was stressed about going, but since there was nothing she could do anyway, she went. She told me later that she was in the Celestial Room at around 7, and she had the strongest feeling that Ethan was there visiting her on the way to being born. She got home a little after 9 and as she was getting in to bed, she had a strong impression that he had arrived. She was right.
Anyway, back to me. After I was done packing, I called the primary presidency to let them know that I wouldn't be able to teach a lesson the next day. Then I had Jason give me a blessing. The contractions were getting a lot worse, and then... my water broke...all over the couch in the playroom. It was the weirdest feeling. It felt exactly like you would imagine.. a pop and then a gush. Then the pain got unbearable. We called Jason's Mom to come back over so that she could watch Claire. We took turns taking showers while we waited for her to arrive. By then, I was miserable. Poor Claire kept saying, "Mommy hurt...okay!" When Grandma arrived, we drove to the hospital quickly, and I was grateful that we live so close.
We arrived and, just like last time, the stupid nurse at the counter was in no hurry to let me move along (Why? I'm the only one here- why is it so difficult to look up my name in your computer? I called you 5 minutes ago!), but we finally got into triage. They checked me and I was dilated to a 5. It was my goal to be at a 5 before I got my epidural, so I was pretty happy, because at that point, I was demanding an epidural no matter how far along things were. They put in my IV and walked me to my room. Doctor Driedger (one of my favourite docs from my maternity clinic) came in and checked me and told me that I was now dilated to an 8, and the anesthesiologist wouldn't be available for an hour. He told me that things were progressing so quickly that I would not be able to get my epidural. I flipped out. I had basically already been in more pain than I ever wanted to be in for the past two hours. I have never been a girl that desired a natural childbirth. My thought is- Heavenly Father put me on this earth at this time because he knows how much I hate pain and He wants me to enjoy the perks of modern medicine. I was not mentally prepared to go through it all without that spine numbing goodness, and my body and mind knew it. The contractions kept coming, but I stopped progressing. The nurse kept checking me, and I kept going no where. I wasn't doing it on purpose, but I was so stressed out, my body just stopped moving that baby down. After an hour the doctor came back in and said, "Okay, well, do you want your epidural now?" YES! A while later, the blessed anesthesiologist finally arrived and set me up. In the end, he probably only saved me the pain of a few contractions. A few minutes after the numbing set in, I was feeling the urge to push.
Man, pushing is hard. It is SO HARD. I want to know if there's a way to train for it or something, like a marathon. I really want to be better prepared for it. I was pushing for about an hour before that kid and his big head started to push through. Then things got EXCRUCIATING. That "ring of fire" hurts SO BAD. I've heard that some women don't feel any pain after they get an epidural. I want to know what magic those women have in their epidurals, because both of the ones that I got just weren't that good. I was in AGONY. And when I'm in pain, I start getting really cranky and bossy. So here's the thing. When I had Claire, I was pushing for several hours, and after trying just about everything, the only thing that got her out was my episiotomy. I saw it as the miraculous relief of my unending pain. Sure, there was a recovery afterwards, but it wasn't that bad. During my pregnancy with Ethan, I read that the current advice to doctors is that they try everything to avoid an episiotomy. I also read that if you don't get an episiotomy, you pretty much have an 80% chance of tearing, which sounded a whole lot worse to me. So... as things got painful, I got VOCAL. I started yelling at my doctor to cut me, and explaining to him loudly and repeatedly why he should (as if the online article that I read made me an expert over this trained professional with years of education and experience! Yeah- Jason says I need to write a letter of apology.) Anyway, my wise doctor didn't give in to the pressure. I was only in the worst pain of my life for about 15 minutes, and then I ripped a little bit and out he came. (By the way, my recovery with my two small rips has been much easier than my recovery from my cut, so Dr. Dreidger was right and I was wrong.) After the doctor guided Ethan's shoulders out, he told me to reach down and take my baby. What a weird and miraculous experience that is. A gush of blood came out of me, soaking two nurses and the floor.
Like Claire, Ethan came out looking perfectly fine after our harrowing ordeal. He was super alert at first- looking at me and everything he could, like he was trying to soak it all up and learn it all as fast as he could. He weighed in at 9 lb and 1/2 oz- I'm so glad that he decided to come two weeks early!
My sister in law, Meaghan, came to the hospital and took a ton more pictures. She brought Claire and Jason's Mom.
.jpg)
Claire was very excited to meet her baby brother. When we asked what she thought of him, she said "CU-UTE!" She was happy to kiss him and hold him, and loved playing at the hospital.
A few cute stories about Claire. On our first night home, Ethan was crying during a diaper change. She had been asleep when we arrived home, so she hadn't even seen us yet, but I heard a little sleepy voice coming from her bedroom "Baby- OKAY!" She's always happy to hug, kiss or hold Ethan when we bring him up, but otherwise, she kind of seems to forget about him. The other day, though, we took her to pick out a Halloween costume and left Ethan with Grandma. As we were driving home, she started saying "Baby Ee-An go? " (Where did baby Ethan go?) We told her that he was at home with Grandma and we were going home to see them. "Yay! See Baby Ee-An!" She will also occassionally and randomly say "Yay- Baby Ee-An Out Mommy's Tummy!" I guess she had that concept figured out after all.
Ethan is such a sweet little newborn. Of course, at this stage, there's not much happening beyond nursing and sleeping, but he has a really sweet spirit about him. He loves sleeping with his lips resting on my nipples and he hates getting his diaper changed. Once, I swear I caught him chuckling in his sleep. I think he looks like pictures of his Grandpa Ralph Harvey, but of course, time will tell what he will look like as he grows up. I'm totally in love with this little guy. I feel like I can't get enough cuddling time with him, because I'm too busy chasing Claire. Hopefully the benefits of having a loving older sibling will make up for the lack of cuddles. I'm still soakingup as much of this sweet time as I can.
